I’ll never understand why I had to be his training wheels. After all I’ve gone through, I needed him to treat me right. He knew that. Nevertheless, he didn’t. Every time he told me not to worry about her, was a lie. I wasn’t what he wanted, meanwhile she always was. Now he treats her the way I deserve so badly to be treated. Now it is I who is told things, he wouldn’t have ever told to her.
“I can’t talk to you, I know it’ll hurt her”
Except he talked to her while he was mine, despite knowing very well the way it tore me apart. My self confidence feels shattered some days. How can it be that I, and all that I am, isn’t enough.
I deserve nothing short of the best type of love. I dream of the day I find the person I’ll spend my life with. He shall be kind, thoughtful, supportive and proud. He will inspire me in the same way I’ll inspire him, and we will chase our dreams side by side.
He shall make me feel beautiful. At all hours of the day, throughout all of my emotions, even if we are miles apart. I’ll be shown off to the world, his family and friends especially, for I am worth bragging about.
With time, I know my person will come someday. I must stop trying to impose the qualities I long on people who just don’t possess them, for it has an inevitable result of failure.