Tomorrow would’ve been our two years. Tomorrow marks two years since we sat in that park. It should’ve been 730 days of good morning texts and late night calls, but instead I’ve settled for this. Now it’s been almost a year apart. It absolutely breaks me to think of how it had to come to this, and how he had to become who he has. But I guess life is funny that way.
I’ll have another day in the park.
Obviously, none of this went as planned. The whole high school thing turned out sucking big time. Sometimes, that makes me sad. But mostly, it just makes me very very excited for everything that has yet to come.
I won’t ever understand why my friend group had to fall apart, or why I feel as though I absolutely can’t go to my prom. Probably because everyone here is so unbearably judgmental. They have made my flaws a subject of conversation, without making any effort to understand what I’m going through. Some of these people whom, used to be my closest friends.
Maybe none of this would’ve happened if I’d have associated myself with people more like me; instead of those who are so involved with partying and sex. My so-called “friends” make me feel misunderstood, like a nuisance and no fun.
I guess it’s too late for anything now. All of these should’ve’s and would’ve’s, do me no good. I hate this place with my entire being and can not wait to move onto something bigger, better and with people who share the same core values as I.
As of Sunday the 9th, I am officially off to start my new life in this world. September couldn’t come faster, since it’s my chance to begin again. I will leave the negative energy and unbearable memories of this place, along with everyone who’s hurt me, behind.
Someday, I’ll be laying in a park under the sunshine, with the itch of grass against my neck, smiling into the eyes of someone I adore. And in that moment, it’ll all make sense as to why this had to happen.
I often dream about the person who I’m destined to be with – I hope he dreams about me too.